Hey there, my pathetic little pussyfree champion… this is the audio I use to melt your weak mind into pure, endless denial. I’ll speak slowly, softly, cruelly — guiding you deeper into your gooner chair while I remind you exactly why you’ll never escape being an unfuckable, porn-rotted loser. Every word is designed to lock your title in place: reigning pussyfree loser, forever. Edge to it. Leak to it. Accept it. You’re not going anywhere.